Our Journey of Twenty Nine Years!

This week Greg and I took a few days away to celebrate our 29^th anniversary!  Each year at this time, I find myself reminiscing about what our relationship looked like in 1985, and how we got to where we are today.  In the last decade, I am always amazed at what the Lord has done… and thankful!

Our wedding day was fun. But the journey toward becoming one, physically, emotionally, and spiritually had a rocky beginning. I’m so thankful for the way that God changed us by giving us a new understanding of some old truths. In the late 80’s, I never could have imagined that our marriage could be good! Great! And growing still, in 2014! In Redeeming Sexual Love we’ve shared the life-changing truths, which have lead us on this path. I thought today, I’d share briefly what that journey looked like.

1985-1990 I was growing increasingly unhappy, and Greg couldn’t comprehend my unhappiness or what my needs were at that time.

In 1990 God confronted me.  I had never been honest with Greg for the sake of honesty, without an agenda for his change. And in that interaction, when I, for the first time was able to just share my heart with Greg without expectation, God began to change our relationship.

1990-1998 Greg applied the Ephesian 5 principles in order to love me as Christ loves the church. I began to trust Greg in a way, which had not been possible in our past.

Eventually I began to recognize that there was something within me, which prevented me from “being there” for Greg physically as he needed, and as I desired to be.

In 1998, God showed me from His Word that the physical relationship of a husband and wife is reflective of His relationship with us, the church. And He caused me to view sex as a celebration of life, and His love!

1998-2012 As we learned to celebrate life together, He led us in a journey toward freedom, which goes beyond our physical relationship. We made a commitment to the Lord to share our journey whenever He gave that opportunity. 

God wants all of us to be free from legalistic practices and an ambiguous and faulty understanding of what is a “good” and “right”.  These are "twisted truths"… lies, which often characterize our "religion".  God made a plan for us to experience this freedom. And Jesus led the way in understanding that plan: it's all about relationships!

2012-2014 In recent years we have had opportunities to share these truths and bits of our story with individuals and couples. These have resulted in the writing of this Bible study.  We continue to take these opportunities, and through them Redeeming Sexual Love is continuing to be refined.

We praise God for what He has done, and what He is doing. Our prayer is that together each of us will find fulfillment and freedom as we live our lives growing in our relationships together and with our God.

A Note To Those Who've Joined

Thanks for joining the list of those who are following the Redeeming Sexual Love blog!  We are encouraged that we do have a number of people who have indicated they are willing to work through the Bible study on their own.  

We do have someone working through it that has experience in publishing, and we were able to meet briefly with another person who is in the publishing industry. We are hopeful that since they have taken an interest, they may be able to give advice in regards to what the next steps toward publishing might be.  If you would be interested in working through this Bible study, you can contact us at any time.  Also, if you know of others who may be interested, please share this site and this opportunity for study with them.  We would love to hear from you!

Study God's Word, as we "Wait for the Lord" Together

Well, we are back in South Africa and beginning to get our feet on the ground once again. For those of you who were aware of it, “the contest" is a thing of the past, but publishing is still a thing of the future! We’ve done a bit of research on what will be the best way to go about publishing the Bible study, Redeeming Sexual Love.  And we will continue to do so. We’ve spoken with a few people with a bit more wisdom in the area of publishing, and have someone who has agreed to take a closer look.  But one thing that came out in our discussions was that our “sample” of those who have gone through Redeeming Sexual Love is rather small. It would be helpful to have a larger sample of people who have worked through this Bible study. 

While we were in the US, some came to us requesting a copy of the Bible study. We would like to open up that option to others who may be interested, and who would then be willing to give us feedback.  If you are interested in working through Redeeming Sexual Love, we would like to send it to you along with a questionnaire to be filled out when you have completed the study.  If you would like to do this, please contact us through the “Contact Us” option in the right-hand column on this webpage.  

Sexuality is a hot topic.  One that intrigues most of us, confuses some, and scares others. It shouldn’t be that way. There is a verse which I’ve had posted by my computer for the past year or more.  I’d like to share it with you. 

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord! Be strong and let your heat take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.         Psalms 27:13-14

We are waiting for the Lord, as we watch Him lead.  As you wait for Him too, won't you be a part of this work? We have begun to see Him working in our lives and the lives of others. And we are thrilled as we anticipate what He can do. We look forward to sharing, and moving together with you as one body in Christ.  

A Long Summary

Greg and I began our life together with high expectations for what our marriage, sex life and family would be like. We each held onto these ideals strongly. While on the outside we may have appeared to be “the ideal couple”, we quickly realized that somehow at our foundations there was an incompatibility that kept us in stress and conflict. The emotional energy required by these incompatibilities eventually took its toll and we both found ourselves broken before one another and before God. The question we never thought would be ours had become a reality: “Are you going to leave me?”

There is one ideal that Greg and I have always had in common. It is that God is a good God with plans for good for anyone who acknowledges Him their lives. Because of this, in spite of our unhappiness, believing that it was not God’s plan for us to divorce, Greg and I remained committed to our marriage. We each sought God to help us understand and change those things that kept us at odds, and had drained the life out of our relationship. In this Bible study we share the scriptural truths which God used to confront those ideals which kept us from experiencing unity in our marriage, and, as the Lord blessed us with children, in our family.

Eventually we came to a place where we could see that God in fact is not silent on the issue of sexuality. And we saw that the Bible has much more to say about sex and relationships than just the widely established set of rules which religions and church denominations have set out for us to follow.

In this study we examine many familiar passages and a few less familiar passages from the Bible to observe how God designed human sexuality. Our sexuality is the part of us that is not in His image. It is the part of us which mandates that we participate in relationships with others in order to reflect His image more fully.

The application of Biblical truth and its relevance to the sexual relationship and sexuality becomes clearer with each chapter. While this is a study about sex, it is even more a study about finding satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships such as God originally intended for us. It is also a testimony of God’s working through which we hope to demonstrate Godly principles of scripture worked out in our lives.

Though the scriptures we share may not be new, they will undoubtedly challenge your thinking in a new way. We’ve included sections entitled “Our Story” as a means of communicating what life application looked like for us, with the hope that you may consider new ways of applying scripture which has been inadvertently overlooked.

Our story is not your story. As unique as you and I are as individuals, that is how unique our stories will be. There is no way of coming up with a formula as if, “This worked for me, so if you follow these steps, ‘1-2-3,’ your struggles will be over”. God works with each of us individually while at the same time sharpening us as we rub shoulders with others, like us, who are in a process of understanding God and His ways.

A Short Summary

         “What did God have in mind when He created sex?” How could the very thing that perpetuates the existence of mankind also have the potential to become a source of great misunderstanding, sometimes abusive behaviors and even destruction? Was it merely a practical and functional means of combining DNA? If so then why did God include in the sexual act such intense emotions? Does the Bible reveal what God had in mind when He created us to be sexual beings?

         Sex is spiritually significant and something which God created with great intention. God has a plan. And it is a plan for good: yours and mine… and that of our spouses and families. Redeeming Sexual Love is a course that considers our sexuality from a Biblical perspective. The course addresses the state of our relationships, and seeks to answer the questions: “What was God’s intention for relationships when He created mankind?” And “How did we get from there to where we are at now?”

         While it is specifically applicable to marriage relationships, the study contains practical truths for singles and young people as well. Whether you are single or married… whether your marriage is decades young, you are married with teens, newly married, or just interested in the topic, you’ll find this Bible study challenging and relevant to today’s culture.