Redeeming Sexual Love, Weekly Quotable

Weekly Quotable: I shared this course with my husband every Monday night and just by that communicating, we understand each other much more. –Participant 4F

12 May 2016

Monday, November 23, 2015

Standing Still...

So often, when I have opportunities to share with women, I feel helpless to create change, and long to clearly, concisely and QUICKLY communicate the truths God used to heal Greg and my relationship. Unfortunately, it seems like this just isn't happening! We have opportunities to share on a regular basis, with a few. These opportunities energize us and keep us convinced that publishing Redeeming Sexual Love By the Power of God's Plan, will happen, in the Lord's time. But clear? Concise? And quick? Nope. Not yet.

Four people who know and trust us to communicate Biblical truth on the topic of marriage and the sexual relationship have pledged to help us financially to publish. We’re excited about that and encouraged by their interest and support. We have even been in dialogue with publishers. But recently, we began to get feedback from couples regarding the clarity of the writing style that indicates it isn’t ready to be published yet.

The positive feedback we’ve received from those we’ve personally worked through the study with has been significant. Understanding the Biblical picture of a man and wife, then experiencing it even in their physical relationship, is life changing! We love getting together with couples because God uses His Word to create life and understanding. It’s inspiring, invigorating and we feel blessed and privileged to be a part of God’s work. Since we’ve been reading, writing and reworking the study through interactions with people, it was disappointing to realize that even with the input we've had so far, clarity is an issue. (You can read participant responses to survey questions about the Bible study, by clicking on, “RSL–Bible Study Participant Survey” in the index to the right.) 

Discouraged, but not dissuaded; we believe the message is of the Lord. As the He provides in the areas we lack, this study will be published well. However, we don’t want to publish something that won’t reach those who need to hear it because it's not communicated clearly. So, we’ll continue to use RSL, sharing with individuals and couples as we have the opportunity. We know we can do that effectively. And we’ll continue to simplify its message and trust God to clarify His truths. We’ll continue to watch for God’s provision.  We’ll seek counsel regarding publishing and how to communicate this message in a world bombarded by information technology. We haven’t given up, but once again feel put on hold. We believe that we are fighting a battle for marriages, unity, and understanding between people. It’s a spiritual battle that's not ours to win.

In 1998, in the middle of the night, I went to the home of a counselor and trusted friend. I’ll never forget the truth I left with:

“Stand still.  Ephesians chapter six says we’re to put on the armor of God and then stand still.”

When I questioned her wording, she pointed out an essential truth. To "stand firm", one can’t be moving. God says to put on His armor and then wait: still, firm, and ready. With the truth of the situation and the truth of the Word of God in hand, I can stand still and confident, because I'm His child, and have been saved by and experienced His intervention. Historically, God always does the fighting on behalf of His people. He wants us to recognize His hand in our lives, and that it is Him who brings us through our battles. He brought Greg and me through the most difficult years of figuring out our marriage and specifically our physical relationship. And the change it created keeps us loving and enjoying one another in every area of our life and the work we do together.

This morning, I had one of those opportunities where I was able to encourage but helpless to create change. My friend and her husband have been married about half the number of years, as Greg and I. She is a wife, mother of three, in ministry with her husband, and a nursing student. Presently she is in the thick of memorizing terms and processes of anatomy and physiology, and feeling the strain of learning while in high-pressure circumstances in the clinic. She’s feeling tired and inadequate. But her question was one of loneliness. “What do I do when my husband finally arrives home and I want to talk, connect with him, hear about his day and tell him about mine, but he is silent, tired, distracted and just can’t be bothered?” Both are under stress. Both are sacrificing for the sake of others. And their unity is compromised by loneliness. All I could do to encourage her, was share one fundamental truth and urge her to communicate with her husband, and also to hear from him. The fundamental truth?  While husbands and wives are equally needy and driven to experience connection, their drives are very different but complementary.  And when both focus on the vital emotional and physical needs of the another, they will equip one another to cope with the stresses they each face.

Will you pray for my friend? And pray for us. We’d like to see more couples enjoying and benefitting from the supportive relationship God designed our marriages to be. When we consider the devastation that is rife around the globe, we believe it is the result of isolation and loneliness. Except for God’s intervention, each of us grows up and feel alone in the midst of a busy world that fails to connect meaningfully as God intended. And so people, desperate to be noticed, and desperate to communicate something significant, make statements via word and action. But who is truly being heard? And what kind of difference has it made?

Greg and I would also like to communicate something that we believe is significant. We trust, if it is important, God will bring it about as we stand still and watch Him work out the details. It has made a huge difference in our lives, and in the lives of a few others. It was the kind of difference that feels right. Like a good plan, from a good God. We know we can't communicate this alone. And trust that He'll show us through His people how to complete that which He's begun. Thanks for taking the time to read this blog, and for your continued interest and support.